Must Have Been Dreaming
by AshleyMarie2012
Summary: Bella had a weird "dream," one where she loses and gains love. What if it wasn't a dream? Will Bella be able to go back to the way things were before, or will she want to live a new life? DISCONTINUED.
1. Chapter 1: Memories

**I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT OR ANY OF THE CHARACTERS**

**--No copyright infringement intended--  
**

1. Memories

Bella POV

Flashbacks…

**{Three months ago}**

_"Bella…" Edward's voice was a whisper, "I love you so much. I promise to never hurt you." His face showed sincerity._

_{Fast-forward two weeks}_

_"I'm so proud of you, Bella." Edward kissed the top of my forehead and stroked my cheek with his thumb while I sobbed. "I love you."_

_"I love you too, so much. I would never have left Charlie if I didn't." I sniffled and dug my head into his chest. "And I'd never be getting married at eighteen if I didn't love you."_

_He laughed melodically._

**{Rewind two hours}**

"_I hate you, dad!" I shouted with such anger and frustration._

_"Bella, please, be reasonable," He pleaded. "You can't marry Edward, you're only eighteen years old." _

_"It doesn't matter. I love him and he loves me. We're getting married. That's final." I rushed to my room slamming the door behind me. A few seconds later there was a knocking on the door._

_"Bella, please. Just…just talk to me." His voice was soft._

_"No, dad, I'm leaving. I'm going to live with the Cullens."_

**{Fast-forward one month}**

_I ran into the bathroom downstairs in the Cullen house and slammed the door behind me. I curled up into a ball against the cabinet under the sink and let the tears pour down from my eyes._

**{Rewind three minutes}**

_I pushed the door to my and Edward's bedroom open and stood frozen in place at the sight in front of me._

_Edward…and Alice. Kissing intensely._

_My fiancée and my best friend. Never could I have scrounged up a thought like that in my wildest imagination._

_Both of their shocked and embarrassed faces flashed up at me. My tears rolled._

_"Bella…" Edward whispered._

_I shook my head. "Don't talk to me. You cheated! You cheated! You cheated, damn it!" I yelled at the loudest volume my lungs would allow._

_I felt the rest of the Cullens rush up behind me. Jasper stood next to me in the doorway. He looked so painfully sad and betrayed._

_"Alice…" He shook his head in disbelief. "What are you…why…how could you and Edward do this?"_

_"And on the eve of our wedding, Edward!" I added. I yanked my wedding ring off of my finger and threw it at the ground, upset that the diamond didn't break off of the ring when it crashed into the hardwood floor._

**{Fast-forward four minutes}**

_"Bella," A voice came from outside the door. A voice that I used to love but now never wanted to hear again. "Bella, love, please open the door."_

_"No! Don't ever call me that again, Edward! I hate you!" I buried my face in my hands and just screamed._

_I screamed to release the pain. I screamed to release my anger. I screamed to release the image of Edward and Alice together that was embedded in my mind. I screamed to release Edward._

**{Fast-forward one week}**

_I lay down on my belly, shoving my face into the feathery pillows. My body greeted the new bed._

_I'd of course, wanted to continue to live with the Cullens, they were the best people—save two—I've ever met. Jasper was gracious enough to split his room in half and allow me to share it with him, because he kicked Alice out. We were the two most miserable people in the house._

_Alice and Edward fight all the time, blaming each other for what happened, and didn't stay together. Now there are four of us in the Cullen house that don't have mates._

_There was a knock at the door and Jasper walked in. "Come on, mockingbird. Let's go."_

_"Mockingbird?" I rolled over to face him._

_"Yea. You do no wrong; you only live to make people happy. So it's a sin to kill you. Like a mockingbird. Now let's go, we're going to be late."_

_"Go where?" I sat up from the bed._

_"Out to lunch. My treat." He smiled, "Come on, I've made reservations."_

_{Fast-forward two and a half weeks}_

_I can't believe it. I'm actually falling in love with Jasper Whitlock Hale. I've spent the past few weeks with him and I'm already having the same affection towards him that I did with Edward, maybe even more intense._

**{Rewind thirty seconds}**

_Jasper's face leaned into mine. His lips slowly pressed to mine. At first, I was hesitant, but my heart rate picked up and so did my anxiousness. I parted my lips between his and kissed him with as much ferocity that I could handle. And he didn't protest._

**{Fast-forward one month}**

**A/N: Sorry if it was a little confusing! But I wanted to skip around to make it seem like she really was scanning her brain, remembering everything that happened.  
**


	2. Chapter 2: Absurd

2. Absurd

Bella POV

**{Present}**

My eyes fluttered open to the bright light coming from the sun shining through the large window. Jasper's and my bedroom window didn't let that much light in…

The bed I was in didn't have the midnight blue sheets I've slept in for the past two months. The new sheets were a white that matched the color of new fallen snow. I know these sheets, but I haven't slept in them since…

_Where am I?_

I felt a cold body next to me, and my body rolled over quickly to see whom it was. My eyes stared at a godlike face that I had loved for so long, but now hated.

Edward.

I shot out of that bed so fast it was painful. "What are you doing, Edward?"

He looked confused, and got out of the bed as well. "What do you mean, love?"

"What are you doing with me in the same bed? And I told you never to call me that again!"

"Okay, I won't call you 'love' anymore." He held his hands up in a truce, "And don't we _always_ sleep in the same bed? Well, you sleep, I just watch…"

"Shut up, Edward! We haven't been in the same bed together for two months."

"What are you talking about?"

"You cheated on me! With my best friend!"

"What—"

"I love Jasper now."

"Bella, you're being absurd. We're engaged, and we have been for the past three months. It only would have been a month long engagement, but you wanted to postpone the wedding."

"I'm not engaged to you. I would never—" I looked down at my hand. There, on the ring finger of my left hand, was Elizabeth Mason's wedding ring. _My_ wedding ring.

I looked back up at Edward, getting a glimpse of his bewildered expression. Then everything went black.


	3. Chapter 3: Delusional

**I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT OR ANY OF THE CHARACTERS**

**--No copyright infringement intended--**

3. Delusional

Bella POV

The blackness faded and I saw, in my mind, a beautiful face in front of me.

_"Bella please let me explain." Edward begged, getting down on the ground to his knees._

Watching this, it didn't feel like a dream. It felt too real, but not like it was happening now, like it had already happened. Like a memory.

_"Edward, get off of the floor." I said harshly._

_He stood up, "Just hear me out."_

_I closed my eyes, hoping that when they opened, he would be gone. No such luck. When I opened my eyes, there he stood in front of me still. I sighed, "Get on with it then. Let me hear it."_

_"Bella, I didn't mean for that to happen. Trust me on this, please. I didn't want to kiss Alice, it just sort of happened. We'd been talking and things just got emotional and there was a sudden impulse of attraction. It was on a whim, Bella. I didn't feel anything more of it. I didn't feel the same love for her that I do you."_

_For a second, I wanted to believe him. Just for a second. I snapped out of my pity and I laughed humorlessly. "I don't care if it was just an impulse, Edward. It hurt. I need you to understand that." The tears started to roll down my cheeks again. " I loved you with _everything_ I had, and when I saw you…with Alice, my heart fell to the floor. I knew I would never be able to completely rid myself of the love I have for you, but I had to get rid of as much as possible. It hurt too much."_

_His hand reached up to stop a tear, but I flinched away. _

_"Please, just…just don't touch me."_

I welcomed the blackness as I faded back into it. The memory was painful and I felt distraught from seeing it again. I'd never forgiven Edward or Alice for what they did. I didn't care why they did it, only that they did. That was all I needed to know.

I became aware of my surroundings. I was lying down, but not on a bed. A bed was much cushier than this. I lay on something harder, but still comfortable. It felt long, but only fit my length. On each end, there was a lump. And on one side of me there was a wall type thing.

A couch.

I could hear a conversation in the kitchen. They weren't murmuring in vampire tone, so I guessed that they still thought I was a sleep. I kept my eyes closed, smoothed my breathing out, and listened.

"I can't live like this." Jasper's voice was clear.

"You have to." Edward's voice was clearer.

"It's the only way, Jasper." Esme sounded sympathetic towards him. "Things were falling apart and this is our chance to get our lives back. Even if that means—"

"Shh." Someone stopped her. I wasn't sure whom.

Things were silent. I concentrated on regulating my breathing. Had it given me away? Was my racing heartbeat the reason they'd stopped?

Suddenly I felt a cool breeze all around me. I allowed my eyes to open to see everyone surrounding me. Most of them smiled.

"H-hey everyone." I mumbled almost incoherently.

"Bella, what happened?" Esme asked.

"I'm not sure. I think…" I looked up at Jasper. "I don't know."

"She seemed really shocked and confused about something." Edward spoke.

"What was wrong, dear?" Esme sounded motherly.

If what Edward said earlier was true, then I must have been delusional. I must be on some weird medication or whatever. "Uh, I guess it was just a _really_ vivid dream."

She smiled. "Come. You must be hungry." She motioned towards the kitchen.

I shrugged and sat up slowly, avoiding a head rush. I proceeded to the kitchen. I sat down at the barstool that had become known as _mine_. Esme handed me a plate full of fluffy pancakes, turkey bacon, and scrambled eggs with ham and cheese, along with a glass of fresh made orange juice.

"Thanks, Esme." I smiled sincerely. "It looks amazing."

She smiled back at me. "You're welcome. Now eat, before you starve yourself."

I dug in, looking at the clock above the stove after sticking a fork full of eggs in my mouth. 10:32 A.M.

"How long was I out?" I asked Emmett, he was the closest in proximity to me.

"For about two and half hours."

A sharp pain pinned in the back of my head. "Ow." I frowned.

"What's wrong? Miss your mouth?"

"No." I smirked. "My head hurts."

Alice walked in looking generally happy. "Here." She handed me a bottle of Advil. "It'll make it feel better."

"Thanks." I didn't know exactly how to act around Alice, or Jasper and Edward for that matter. The dream was just so vivid, I really feel like I've lived through it, like everything was real, like the hurt, the betrayal, and the love are part of me.

I searched inside my mind to find the reactions I had to Alice, Jasper, and Edward before the dream.

Gah! It's impossible. I feel like I should hate Alice, loathe Edward, and absolutely love Jasper. But it's not _right_. I need to love Alice, be _in_ love with Edward, and think of Jasper as my soon-to-be-brother-in-law.

Oh my god. I'm getting married. To Edward.

My breathing became short and staccato, but deep. I started hyperventilating. Everyone heard and rushed up to me. I couldn't stop. Their faces turned to Carlisle.

"She has to calm down." He answered them all simply.

"Bella…" Edward sounded more worried than he should be. "Bella, please, please just try to take long breaths. Calm down."

I tried to take in one long breath. It worked for a moment, until I looked up at Jasper and saw how solicitous his face looked. He didn't look at me in a way like he was a brother, like he should. Instead, he looked at me in a way like he was worried for his lover—the same way Edward looked at me.

Then, everything went black…again.


	4. Chapter 4: Indecision

**I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT OR ANY OF THE CHARACTERS**

**--No copyright infringement intended--  
**

4. Indecision

Bella POV

This time, when I awoke, I was more aware of my surroundings, and so I opened my eyes quickly to see five beautiful faces staring back at me. Alice, Esme, Carlisle, Emmett, and Rosalie, but no Jasper or Edward. I deemed their failure to be present unimportant for the time being and I smiled wryly at the people in front of me.

Esme was the first to speak, "Are you alright, dear?"

I nodded, "Yea, I'm fine. My head still hurts a little, but I'll live."

"Well thank goodness Jasper was there to catch you, or else you'd have hit your head on the marble floor and be _really_ hurting.

"Jasper caught me?"

For a fraction of a second, five sets of eyes widened. Esme nodded. I heard a faint whisper or murmur and I realized that Alice was talking to her in a tone I wouldn't hear.

I ignored them and stood up from the couch where I had once again been laid, and I felt an uncomfortable bareness around my legs.

"Alice…" I said sounding scared, "What did you put on me?"

She grinned smugly. "A mini skirt!"

I lifted my afraid, shaky hand to my torso and noticed another absence.

"And a tube top!" She grinned wider, "With a strapless bra of course."

I groaned inward and spun around on my heels to start my way up to the bedroom to change.

Edward and Jasper met me at the bottom of the stairs. Jasper continued walking after greeting me with only a long frown and a single nod.

"Where are you going?" Edward stole my attention.

"Upstairs to get dressed."

He looked confused. "Are you not fully dressed already?" I glared at him sternly in a _duh! _manner. "Sorry," he smiled and I couldn't help but smile back. We walked side by side to…_our_ bedroom. Even my mind was having a hard time choking out the fact that Edward and I were coupled.

I zoned out after the fifth step of the staircase…

_Come on, Bella. Remember already! What you think is real was fake. It was just a dream. You were dreaming everything._

Before I knew it, we were inside the bedroom at the end of the hallway and I was standing in the long closet searching for something to wear. Edward had given me some privacy so I was left to debate by myself.

Alice was no help either; you would think she would at least give me help on what to wear. But sadly, no. So here I am holding two shirts in front of me.

In my left hand, I held the dark blue blouse Edward had always said he loved. In my right hand, I held the wine colored blouse Jasper…I mean, _dream Jasper_ said looked wonderful on me.

It shouldn't have even been a debate. I easily should have chosen the blue, considering it was Edward's favorite. But somehow, my leftover emotions from the dream were overpowering my ability to make a simple decision.

_This is pathetic_, I thought to myself before tossing the wine colored blouse on the ground and pulling the blue over my head and slipping on a pair of jeans. I picked up the wine blouse and hung it up nicely. I started to walk away, but I couldn't leave it alone. I argued with myself over which part of me was stupider, the one that wanted to wear the wine color or the one that wanted to wear the blue. _This argument is stupid in general!_

I clenched my teeth at my weakness and I grabbed the wine blouse by the arm and put it to my nose, breathing in the scents. I smelled the laundry detergent that clung to the blouse like glue. But I also smelt something else, something faint. Something too _familiar_. I quickly recognized the scent…it was Jasper's.

I immediately dismissed that thought from my mind and exited the closet to see Edward waiting patiently on the bed.

"You look lovely." He stood up from the bed and gave me a quick peck on the cheek. I smiled back at him half-heartedly, not wanting to tell him about my pathetic argument with myself. "What's wrong?" He caught me.

"Nothing…uh," I mumbled. "I couldn't decide what to wear."

He stared at me a moment and then shook his head to derail his train of thought. "Anyway, the rest of the family needs to hunt."

I stared into his charcoal eyes. "You should go too."

"Do you not want me here?" He joked.

"No, it's not that. It's just that your eyes are black."

"I know, and I had planned on going with them, but I wanted to be sure that you would be okay here by yourself."

I smiled. "I will, don't worry."

*******

The Cullens left immediately, leaving me alone in the big house. I realized that there was really nothing to do here alone.

I sighed and—imitating Alice—skipped over to the phone where it was in the kitchen, quickly dialing ten numbers. The call was answered on the first ring.

"Hello?" Their voice was muffled.

"Hey, Seth." I replied.

I could hear that he was smiling, "Hi, Bella!"

"Hey, has Jake been around?"

"No, not really. I think he's somewhere in Canada right now."

I sighed again. "Thanks, Seth. Oh! Hey, do you know when my wedding is?"

"Uh, yea. August thirteenth."

"What's today's date?"

"August tenth."

"Just checking. Thanks again, Seth. Gotta go! Bye!" I rushed my words and hung up. As I set the phone back on the kitchen counter and dropped to my knees.

_Three days. I'm getting married in three days._

My breathing became staggered and forced. I couldn't faint again now, not with the Cullens gone. What would they think when they came home and I was passed out in the middle of the kitchen floor? I had to steady my breathing.

In…out…in…out.

Okay, all better.

I made myself think of something else, something that would keep my mind busy….

What time is it? 1:13 in the afternoon. Well, I might as well make myself some lunch, but am I really that hungry? No, it can wait.

Wow, I've got to stop talking to myself.

I chuckled in my mind. _Dream Jasper_ used to laugh whenever I talked to myself, whereas Edward just ignores me when I do.

Needing something to do, I started wandering through the house.

I thought back to the argument I had with myself over what shirt to wear. That wine colored shirt only had importance in the dream, so why would it matter if I wore it or not?

In my dream, Jasper said he loved it, so I would wear it whenever I could. He even painted a portrait of the two of us, with myself wearing the wine colored shirt. The painting had hung over our bed, because it was so magnificently lovely.

Flashback:

"_What do you think?" He said in a smooth tone._

_"I..." I was at a loss of words. My hand involuntarily covered my mouth and my eyes let a few tears fall._

_He frowned hugely, "You don't like it." He sighed, putting his hands in position to tear it apart._

_"No!" I screamed._

_His eyes flashed back up to me. "What?"_

_"Don't, Jasper! I love it! Absolutely, positively. I love it!"_

"Really?"

_"Jasper...how could I not? I mean, for one, it's an ah-mazing painting. But it also came from you. It's perfect. It's—" Before I could finish, his lips were pressed to mine._

End of flashback

Yearning to remember things that have actually been going on these past few months, I walked to the door to Jasper and Alice's room. The wooden door creaked as I slowly twisted the handle and pushed it open.

I took all but one step inside before I froze in place.

There, hanging on the far wall of the room before me, was the portrait of Jasper and me…and I was wearing the wine shirt.

My breathing stopped and I was pretty sure my heart halted.

"No!" Someone screamed from behind me.

**A/N: As a special thank you to all of my wonderful reviewers, I will be sending out a sneek peek to the next chapter to anyone who reviews. =]**


	5. Chapter 5: The Truth

**I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT OR ANY OF THE CHARACTERS**

**--No copyright infringement intended--  
**

5. The Truth

Bella POV

I spun around swiftly to see Alice and Edward standing in the hallway staring at me, shocked.

I was so angry—no, furious—I could have punched a hole in the wall, even without the vampire strength I currently did not have.

"Why'd you do it?" I questioned them. They stood frozen and unresponsive. "Why did you do it?" I repeated, yelling this time. No answer. This time I yelled louder. "Why did you lie to me?" Alice cringed at my tone. Edward closed his eyes.

"It was the only way, Bella." Alice finally spoke.

My eyes threatened tears, "The only way for what?" My voice was softer now.

"The only way to keep our family together." She took a step closer to me, but I took a step back away. "Edward and I always argued. Jasper and Edward fought. Jasper never talked to me. And the rest of the family was disgusted with Edward and me."

"They should be. The two of you betrayed us. What you did hurt both Jasper and me immensely. I never fully recovered." Tears fell freely from my eyes and down my cheeks. "Alice, you were my best friend, I _trusted_ you to be there for me. And Edward…" His eyes opened at the sound of his name escaping my lips. "Edward I trusted you to never hurt me." I laughed humorlessly. "You _promised_ you wouldn't."

Edward ran over to me at vampire speed and grabbed my wrists gently but firmly, being careful to not physically hurt me.

I clenched my jaw and spoke through my teeth, "Let go of me, Edward."

He ignored my demand, "Bella, I never wanted to hurt you. What happened that night was…"

"Let me guess," My voice croaked, "When you kissed her, you felt nothing. But Edward if you kissed her in the first place, there was obviously _some_ emotion."

His head turned around to look at Alice, "If you could give us a minute, please." She nodded and disappeared. He turned back to me. "Can we sit?" His eyes were pleading. He didn't wait for a response. He sat on the bed and pulled me down next to him. "Bella, I beg for a chance to fully explain what happened that night."

I sighed through my tears, closed my eyes, and nodded.

"Thank you."

_Flashback: Edward POV_

_"__Alice, may I speak with you for a minute?" I nodded towards the stairs. She shrugged and followed me to the room Bella and I shared. I closed the door behind us._

_"What is it, Edward?" I didn't need to respond, she envisioned it. "Oh, Edward not this again."_

_"I can't help it, Alice." _

_"Edward, how dare you think you're not good enough for her?" She sat on the bed and I followed suit next to her. "You two belong__ together."_

_"Fortune cookie much?" We both chuckled._

_"I've seen what it will be like for you two. It's going to be absolutely perfect."_

_"But Alice, your visions are subjective. What if something goes wrong while I'm changing her? What if I can't stop myself?"_

_"You can and you will." She leaned in. "I have not one doubt in my mind." Her face was only inches away from mine._

_"I love her so much, I can't imagine my life without her."_

_"Then don't try to. There's no use in trying to see yourself without her when clearly you will be together for the rest of eternity."_

_"I'm nervous." I said lamely. My eyes were fixated on hers._

_"Don't be." What she said was simple, but it brought a tingly feeling to my dead heart. _

_Our faces grew closer together. Eventually, our lips pressed together. _

_The door creaked open and I heard a fluttering heart. Our faces ripped apart and I stared at the doorway with a shocked expression. My mouth opened as I struggled to find words._

_Tears fell down the beautiful face I love so much. It hurt me to the core to see her like that. _

_"Bella…" That was all I managed to choke out._

_She shook her head rapidly. "Don't talk to me. You cheated! You cheated! You cheated, damn it!" She yelled and the rest of the family raced up behind her with scornful expressions. The look on Jasper's face killed Alice inside. I hung my head in shame._

_"Alice…" He shook his head in disbelief. "What are you…why…how could you and Edward do this?"_

_"And on the eve of our wedding, Edward!" Bella added. She tore off her wedding ring—my mother's wedding ring—and threw it at the ground, and then rushed out the room. The sound it made hitting the hardwood floor cracked my un-beating heart._

_End flashback_

Bella POV

Edward shook his head and stared at the floor. "How could I have been so stupid?"

"I agree." I said flatly.

His eyes flashed up to meet mine. "Bella, do you hate me?"

"I don't know." I whispered.

"You have every reason to, and you should, so I don't expect any different. But I want to know how I can make it better. I would give anything in the world for you to love me again."

He thought that? Boy, was he wrong. "Edward, I still love you, and I always will—to an extent."

"I just want things back to the way they were."

"Things will never be the same way as before. Everything's changed." I shook my head and continued. "I fell in love with Jasper, and that won't fade away completely either. I'm stuck."

"Not another Jacob thing…" He groaned.

I chuckled. "Yes, another Jacob thing. Edward, I love both you and Jasper, in different ways, but equally at this point."

"Then I will fight for you." I smiled and rolled my eyes at his comment. "Bella, I'm serious. You mean the world to me—more than that, actually. I'd do anything for you to love the same way as before, even if it means fighting against my brother."

"Edward…"

"No, Bella, I mean it."

"This is only going to ruin the family."

He considered that for a moment. "Not if I can help it." He smiled. He pursed his lips like he was contemplating whether he should say something or not.

"What is it, Edward?"

"I'm wondering if it would be too much for me to kiss you."

I smiled, "Not at all." He smiled back and quickly brought our lips together. He parted his lips between mine and we moved in synchronization together. My heart fluttered like old times, and all too soon I had to pull away for air.

"I've missed that." He murmured to me quietly.

I giggled, "Me too."

He smiled for a second, and then his face grew serious again.

"What's wrong?" I asked, questioning his expression.

"Jasper's home."

**A/N: Okay, first of all, I know that the sneek peak I sent you guys is NOT in this chapter, and I'm pretty sure it's not ever going to be in this story, but you see, I had written out the chapter and I really didn't like it, so I rewrote it....being forced to remove the part I sent you WONDERFUL reviewers. I'm so sorry. But I hope you at least liked this chapter anyway.**


	6. Author's Note 1

**Hey you guys! I'm so sorry, but I've been having a bit of writer's block. You see, a few weeks ago, my computer crashed…My hard drive cracked!!!!! Can you believe it??? I lost ALL of my writing! IT. SUCKS.**

**Anyway, I'll try to update AS SOON AS POSSIBLE, but in the mean time, this story and my other story, Alone But Not Quite, are on hiatus.**

**Again, I'm terribly sorry!**

**-Ashley**


	7. Chapter 6: Inconclusive

Chapter 6: Inconclusive

Bella POV

"_Jasper's home."_

Edward scooped me up in his arms and carried me downstairs. It felt like I was in the arms of a marble statue.

Jasper waited in the front doorway with his arms folded across his chest, staring at Edward and I, an aggravated expression on his face. I looked at the bottom of the stairs and saw Alice staring lovingly at him. I knew Jasper felt the love she was sending to him, but he didn't look like he cared what she felt.

Edward set me down gently on the floor in front of the last step. He backed away silently and looked at Alice, gesturing towards the next room. Alice stood up and the two left, leaving Jasper and me alone.

Without any words said, I walked up to Jasper, took his cold, hard hand and led him up the stairs and into his bedroom. He closed the door behind us and we sat down together on the bed, our bodies naturally sat closely to each other.

There was silence for a few seconds. I stared at the ground shyly, unsure of what my voice would sound like if I spoke.

Jasper lifted his hand and took my chin between his thumb and his index finger, moving my head up and forcing me to look into his eyes. "What's wrong?" He asked. I guessed he saw the rosy color of, well, my entire face, particularly my eyes that were also puffed and wet. "You found the truth." He stated and I nodded. "How'd you do it?"

I pointed my finger towards the painting that hung above the bed.

He smiled now, "I knew it was a good idea to keep that portrait. Edward thought it was an idiotic idea and that it would blow our cover." He chuckled, "I guess he was right." I looked down again. Jasper's voice became serious and slightly worried, "Did he hurt you?"

I shook my head. "No," I cleared my throat, "he did not."

"Then, what is it, Bella?"

A single tear rolled down my tear, "I have to choose."

"Choose what?" He stopped the tear with his thumb as it came to my chin.

I looked up into his eyes again. "Between you and Edward."

His expression became filled with anger and confusion. "What…Bella…"

"Jasper," I stopped him. "Just listen. I love you and Edward both. So much. I don't know whom I love more. I don't know whom I'll love longer. I just don't know. Okay? I have to decide. I have to decide before the wedding." Many tears fell now and my voice was shaky through them.

"Bella, sweetheart, no one is making you choose."

"That's not true, Jasper. I mean, how would you feel just not knowing if I love you or him? You'd feel pretty bad, wouldn't you? That's why _I'm_ making _myself_ choose. I don't want anyone to get hurt."

"But Bella, you're hurting yourself in the process."

I shrugged my shoulders. "So?"

"Bella—"

"I don't like not knowing either, Jasper. I need to know who I want and who I'm going to spend the rest of my life with."

"If you're so set on this…"

"I am, Jasper. I am." I interrupted.

"Then I _will_ fight for you, Bella, because I know he will too, but I'm not going to force myself into your heart. I know that _whoever_ you choose is the luckiest man on the face of the earth, and if I am _blessed_ with your complete love, I will treasure it with my entire self for as long as I live."

I broke out into sobs and fell into his chest, he wrapped his arms around me welcomingly. "How am I going to do this, Jasper?" I said between tears.

"You'll figure it out. I know you will."

"I only have three days."

"That's a long time."

"How—"

"Bella, you can do this." He kissed my hair gently for a long second. "I love you, Bella." He whispered.

I pulled away from him slightly, so that I could see his face. "I—"

Suddenly the door burst open and a dark, thick body stood in the doorway.

"Afternoon, sis!" Emmett said gleefully.

I couldn't help but laugh at his interruption. "Hey Emmett. How was hunting?"

"Eh, it was okay." He shrugged his shoulders. "I didn't get to catch a bear, so that was a bit disappointing." I chuckled, so did Jasper. "So, you know what happened."

"Yes." I nodded.

"Are you mad?" He asked nervously.

"A bit."

"Well, it was all Edward's idea."

I chuckled again, but pursed my lips when I saw the irritated look on Jasper's face. He unnecessarily cleared his throat, "Goodbye Emmett."

"Oh, uh, bye." Emmett said as he backed out of the doorway, closing the door behind him.

"Bella," Jasper caught my attention again. "Sweetheart, have you eaten lunch yet?"

"Nope."

"Well, Esme is back and already making you something to eat." Before I could respond, he grabbed my hand and led me downstairs to the kitchen where Esme was trying a new recipe that she found for Wisconsin Cheese Chowder.

I stood at the counter smiling at her. She turned around and returned the small gesture.

"Jasper," She looked at him, "I would like to talk to Bella alone. Why don't you, Edward, and Alice go get some more groceries? I've made a list of everything I need, it's right there on the counter." She pointed to the kitchen's island where a grocery list was written in perfect cursive on a small piece of paper labeled "Groceries Needed."

He frowned, but left the room.

"What do you want to talk about, Esme?"

"Ah, ah. Eat first." She set a spoon and a bowl of chowder down in front of me.

**Day 1--Three days until the wedding. 1:37 P.M.**

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**A/N: Alright. So, so, so, so, so sorry that this took so long!!!!!!!!! I was just, having a hard time getting back in FanFic mode. Again, I'm _so very_ sorry!**

**At the beginning and end of every chapter from now on there will be a label, telling you what time and what day it is. This chapter started at on Day 1, meaning it is still August 10th in the story--three days until the wedding. Questions? You can either PM me or review, either way I'll reply with an answer that will hopefully clear things up. =]**

**Finally, I'd like to thank EVERYONE that has stayed with me in my little _writing depression. _I am truly thankful that you guys didn't give up on me, and I'd like to apologize on last time for not posting for soooo long and having to put this story on temporary hiatus. Sorry!!!!!!!  
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	8. Chapter 7: Can of Worms

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_IMPORTANT:_

If you go by the screen name of "McKayla Cullen" and reviewed on the previous chapter, most of the Author's note at the end of the chapter is written in reply (and special thanks) to you. =D So please, pretty please read it!!!

Chapter 7: Can of Worms

Bella POV

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Day 1; 1:46 P.M.

"Alright, Esme." I set the bowl with only remnants of the Wisconsin Cheese Chowder and the spoon in the kitchen sink. "What do you want to talk about?"

"About the can of worms that is about to be opened." She said while obsessively cleaning the kitchen counter.

"What?"

"I'm talking about what's going to happen over the next few days while you decide between Edward and Jasper." I stood silently, wondering how she already knew about that. "I wasn't eavesdropping, I swear. Edward told me."

My head hung. I bit my lip and shook my head. "Esme, I know that this is going to cause a lot of…complications, but--"

"Bella, don't worry about it. Everybody just wants you to be happy, even Alice."

"Even Alice?" I asked, astonished. I was surprised that Alice would want me to be happy, considering this is all effecting her too, a lot. I mean, Edward refuses to act kindly towards her in fear of sending me the wrong message, and Jasper doesn't want to love her anymore, after over seventy years together.

"Yes. You'd be surprised. You should talk to her soon."

I nodded in agreement. "I will. Definitely."

"Now," She turned to me, "the whole point of this conversation, is that I wanted you to see the boys from a mom's perspective." She winked and turned back to her cleaning. "Edward and Jasper are two _very_ different boys. Well I suppose I shouldn't call them boys, considering Jasper fought in the Civil War, Edward almost died during the Spanish Influenza, not to mention they're both older than I am. But you get the point…they're different."

"Yes." I kind of chuckled a bit.

"Let's see, I think I'll start with Edward." She continued to scrub the already clean counters, I guessed that she needed something to keep her busy while she talked. "Edward is a very…frightened young man. He is extremely careful with you. The last thing he would _ever_ want to do is hurt you. His heart shattered when you threw the wedding ring at the ground." She shook her head, and I cringed at the memory _and_ at her disappointment. She continued, "Edward is very stubborn, he is wary, he is often times controlling. But, he has a caring heart. He would never put any of us in any danger. Bella, his love for you is irrational, and daring, but it is deep and whole."

My eyes started to tear up, and I hated myself for it.

"Now, Jasper…" She carried on. "He is a brave man. He's not afraid to be himself around you. He's not constantly afraid that he's going to hurt you, though he should be more careful around you than anyone else in this house. Too, like Edward, the last thing he would do is hurt you. He cares for you so much, it is amazing. And the fact that he was immediately willing to fight against his brother for you is surprising…" She realized what she said and turned to me. "No offense, of course."

"None taken," I assured her.

She smiled and turned away again. "Well, Jasper is a very tense, restrained person, and he's been through a lot. You remember his story don't you?" I nodded. "Yes, well, he may have his mind wrapped around the fact that he is no longer an American soldier, but that doesn't stop his mind from having a strategic matter. He uses strategy and method with everything. And he has an intuitional love for you, it almost comes naturally to him. Now, I can't tell if it's love in general that is natural to him or if it is his love for you."

At this point I was already crying. Esme turned around to see the numerous tears rolling down my cheeks.

"Oh dear. Bella, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you." She reached around my shoulder and rubbed my upper arm.

"No, it's not your fault, Esme, I just don't know how I'm going to figure this all out before the wedding."

I heard a door open and Jasper yelled, "We're home." He obviously didn't yell for Esme, or anyone else in the house, because they would be able to hear him normally. He yelled for me.

Alice was the first to walk into the kitchen with two arms full of grocery bags that she set on the counter Esme had spent the entire conversation cleaning. "Thank goodness we're home. I couldn't spend another moment with these two bickering." She nodded her head towards Edward and Jasper and winked at me in a loving and happy manner.

The simple gesture made my heart wince. It pained my chest to see her like this, only because I know she's hiding it. I know she's hiding how she really feels. She is yearning for Jasper and for him to want her back. I stole her husband all because I thought she stole mine.

**Day 1; 2:01 P.M.**

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**A/N PART 1: I'm soooooooo sorry for not updating in so long. It's been forever. My sincerest apologies. **

**A/N PART 2--McKayla Cullen: First of all, I wanted so desperately to be able to reply to your review. There wasn't a way I could reply to you in a PM...Are you registered on FanFic? It doesn't exactly matter, I was just wondering. Anyway, you tried to leave your email address, but all that was there was a period. My guess is FanFic doesn't allow HTML in reviews. So if you could bless me with your email address, I would be ever so thankful, just put a space between the address and the .com, or .net, or whatever. Second of all, YES, I am planning on continuing this story until it is finished. Your review left me questioning, "How exactly did you hear about my story?" It's not very popular, and it's very confusing at first so not many people read it...Or at least I thought so. Your review made me cry, and I'm dead serious. It made me feel proud of my work, even though it can be unbelievably hard to keep up with at times. I wanted to thank you, a thousand times over, for giving me that _wonderful_ review. And so...Thank you. =]**


	9. Chapter 8: Burden

Chapter 8: Burden

**Day 1; 2:01 P.M. …Still.**

_Alice was the first to walk into the kitchen with two arms full of grocery bags that she set on the counter Esme had spent the entire conversation cleaning. "Thank goodness we're home. I couldn't spend another moment with these two bickering." She nodded her head towards Edward and Jasper and winked at me in a loving and happy manner._

_The simple gesture made my heart wince. It pained my chest to see her like this, only because I know she's hiding it. I know she's hiding how she really feels. She is yearning for Jasper and for him to want her back. I stole her husband all because I thought she stole mine._

Edward opened his mouth to say something, but Alice interrupted before he could utter a single syllable. "Come, Bella." She reached out and grabbed me gently by the wrist. "The wedding is three days from today and we have absolutely nothing. No flowers, no cake, no dress!" As she pulled me through the house, I stared back at the disappointed expressions on Edward's and Jasper's faces. "I hope you've gotten enough rest today, with all the fainting and what not, because you're going to need it for the long night ahead of us."

We both slipped into her canary yellow Porche that Edward had bribed her with months ago. The car pulled out of the excessively long driveway and onto the road.

"I don't hate you, Bella." Alice announced while breaking the complete silence that had formed between us. She continued to keep her eye on the road ahead.

I looked down into my lap. "Why?" I murmured.

"Because I just want you to be happy, Bella. I know you've been getting that a lot for the past hour or so, but that's probably what you're going to be hearing constantly for the next three days."

"But, Alice, I know how much you love Jasper…"

"Bella, you never know. If you choose Jasper, this could be the start of something new for all of us. And even if you choose Edward, I'm not sure if Jasper would ever come around to speaking to me again."

"That's why I don't understand why you don't hate me. I have the power to change all of our lives by making one decision."

"You wouldn't even have to make this decision if Edward and I weren't so stupid."

"But it was an accident, Alice." I tried to reassure her.

She glanced at me for a second with a crooked smile, and then turned back to the road. "That's not how you felt two months ago, Bella."

I frowned and stared out my window, trying to hold back the tears by focusing on every tree we passed.

"Oh, Bella, I'm sorry." Alice watched me. "I didn't mean to upset you."

"No, it's okay. You're right. What I said months ago was horrible. I should have listened to you both when you tried to tell me what happened. Maybe we wouldn't be in this mess."

"Hey, hey, now. This may be a mess, but this may be an opportunity for us to change things up; for me to…" She shook her head like she was trying to shake a thought out of her mind. "Oh forget it, Alice." She told herself.

"What is it?"

"Nothing, I just…" She glanced at me, then back at the road once again. "I've never told anyone this before. Not even Edward knows." I nodded, accepting the secrecy that had been obscurely dubbed onto me. She sighed and continued. "When I met Jasper, I knew he was going to be mine someday; he was the one I was going to spend the rest of eternity with. At least, I thought I knew.

"These past seventy years, give or take, have been filled with happiness and…well, uncertainty. I could never quite put a finger on the reason why I've always had this small tinge of unhappiness, not until last year, in September, when we left." My heard ached at the memory. "I was so very upset about leaving you, but the thing is, I could never show it. I was always too worried about laying my emotions onto Jasper. Then it dawned on me: I've never been allowed to feel sad around him.

"Now you see, because of this 'mess,' as you call it, I might be allowed to feel upset; feel disgusted; feel anything I want to without having to worry about the burden being put onto him, and without him trying to send me false emotions."

She paused a moment before adding one last thing. "Now do you see why I don't hate you?"

**Day 1; 2:34 P.M. **

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**A/N: So sorry that it has been literally forever, you guys, I truly am. This just to let you know I'm still alive. ;] Oh, and one last thing, I discontinued "Alone But Not Quite." I just didn't like that story anymore, I was getting tired of it. Sorry! **


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